Wintergirls monologue: Laurie Halse Anderson

Food is life. I have no idea how much I weigh. This scares me almost to death, but I'm working on it. I'm beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds. Sometimes in smiles.

I read a lot. Emerson, Thoreau, Watts. The Bible, a couple of pages. The Bhagavad Gita, Dr. Seuss. I write awkward, random poetry. Our floor goes on a field trip to a restaurant. I eat a waffle with syrup and I ask for more. They're teaching me how to play bridge. I'm not interested in poker. All bets are off.

I'm spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world. The tiny elf dancer became a wooden doll whose strings were jerked by people not paying attention. I spun out of control. Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest.

I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness. Cassie did, too. We leaned on each other, lost in the dark and wandering in endless circles. She got too tired and went to sleep. Somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and asked for help.

I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape. There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.

I am thawing.

Sonnet

I woke today and saw that right outside,

That from the sky the sun had gone away.

The clouds now knew my mood and thus they cried,

I fear I might not ever see the day.

The only thing I know is just to pray.

I cannot see a ray of light from here,

I wish I knew what I could even say.

It really seems impossible to cheer,

The rain will never stop is what I fear.

I try to fix the mess this has become,

It does not help; I cannot see the clear.

I feel always perpetually glum.

I fear to speak but always do I dream,

That finally one day the sun will gleam.

You'll never guess.

"But for me it's better to keep

all my flaws and thoughts locked

up safe, where the only person

who can judge me is

myself."

You'll never guess where

this quote comes from ;)

Wild at Heart.

"That rebel moon is shinin'

Those stars burn like diamonds

Hell bent on chasin' down that crazy slide

I'll follow you where you're leading

To the first sweet taste of freedom

You got me runnin' baby

Wild at heart"

Gloriana + the beach + friends and family = <3

I think this speaks for itself..

What do you think? ;)

The Nightmare.

Video by me and my sisters. Watch it. Your life will never be the same ;)

I'm only me when I'm with you.

I love my sister,

and Taylor Swift is the best <3