Thursday, March 11, 2010

Wintergirls monologue: Laurie Halse Anderson

Food is life. I have no idea how much I weigh. This scares me almost to death, but I'm working on it. I'm beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds. Sometimes in smiles.

I read a lot. Emerson, Thoreau, Watts. The Bible, a couple of pages. The Bhagavad Gita, Dr. Seuss. I write awkward, random poetry. Our floor goes on a field trip to a restaurant. I eat a waffle with syrup and I ask for more. They're teaching me how to play bridge. I'm not interested in poker. All bets are off.

I'm spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world. The tiny elf dancer became a wooden doll whose strings were jerked by people not paying attention. I spun out of control. Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest.

I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness. Cassie did, too. We leaned on each other, lost in the dark and wandering in endless circles. She got too tired and went to sleep. Somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and asked for help.

I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape. There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.

I am thawing.

Friday, October 16, 2009


I woke today and saw that right outside,
That from the sky the sun had gone away.
The clouds now knew my mood and thus they cried,
I fear I might not ever see the day.
The only thing I know is just to pray.
I cannot see a ray of light from here,
I wish I knew what I could even say.
It really seems impossible to cheer,
The rain will never stop is what I fear.
I try to fix the mess this has become,
It does not help; I cannot see the clear.
I feel always perpetually glum.
I fear to speak but always do I dream,
That finally one day the sun will gleam.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

You'll never guess.

"But for me it's better to keep
all my flaws and thoughts locked
up safe, where the only person
who can judge me is

You'll never guess where
this quote comes from ;)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Wild at Heart.

"That rebel moon is shinin'
Those stars burn like diamonds
Hell bent on chasin' down that crazy slide
I'll follow you where you're leading
To the first sweet taste of freedom
You got me runnin' baby
Wild at heart"

Gloriana + the beach + friends and family = <3

Friday, August 21, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Nightmare.

Video by me and my sisters. Watch it. Your life will never be the same ;)

I'm only me when I'm with you.

I love my sister,
and Taylor Swift is the best <3